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Wednesday, May 2, 2012

a bump in the dark

I heard the calls to me from in between weakened coughs,  I knew I had to get to Cody fast.    I shook my head to escape the daze feeling that was beginning  to invade me.  I just had no time right now to deal with another crisis.  Beneath my fingers  I could already feel a lump under my eye brow  growing and the pain increasing.  I wanted to cry out, I hurt, but I would only frighten my sons and have even more to take care of. In the dim light I headed towards Cody, careful not to wake his brother Josiah who I could hear breathing softly across the room. At least there seemed to be no wetness coming form my head, as I gently touched the bump resembling a little bit of an eye brow.  I felt somewhat relieved that I had not broken any skin. My impact with the door might not be as bad as it was feeling.

 I helped Cody to sit up in hopes it would help him produce a working cough faster. I fumbled around at his bedside to locate his remote control to raise the head of his bed up, while I cradled his head in one arm.     He felt warm, his fever had come back and he was now even more congested.  As his bed rose I also could see he would need repositioning.  What made matters worse I could also now see a shadow appearing over the top of my eye ball.   For a second it frightened me as I thought about trying to drive Cody to the emergency room with one eye swollen shut.

I needed an ice pack fast and Cody needed me right now to help him work through his coughing spell.  Of course I could wait.  It is those moments when somewhere from with in you just know instinctively how to stay calm and manage. As if on cue Cody released some  phlegm and began to relax alittle.  He appeared to not be in any real distress for the moment, giving me seconds to quickly run  to find the ice pack I would be spending the next few hours with.

After getting him comfortably back in bed, re medicated and assuring him my head was fine, I tiptoed from his room down the hall to the guest bathroom.  I now had time to  take a glance in the  mirror at the damage.  Yes, I would undoubtedly have a black eye forming  by morning. However, night was not over, I would need to combat pain and fatigue if he should call to me again. Images of me out from a concussion flashed through my mind.  What if I was not alert enough to even help my son.  Already sleep deprived there just was not much else I could do. I had to stay close by him,  it pained me to see him struggle so hard.  I curled up in the recliner across from his bed with the ice pack over my eye,  praying for peaceful sleep for the both of us.