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Saturday, August 3, 2013

friends

So fast and swift the eagle swooped down, snatching the baby duckling with its hungry claws.  I stood frozen trying to comprehend what had just happened before my eyes.  The loud devastating cries from its mother tore at my heart.  In a blink of an eye with out warning  her precious offspring had been snatched from her.  I watched in sadness as she floated in circles flapping her wings and crying out to her duckling as he flew further further from our sight.  As helpless as she, I stood, only able to watch, as natures unrelenting cruelty of survival played out before me.

I turned to my new found friends,  who had delighted us by visiting my sons and I this afternoon at our home, as unexpected as I, they watched too, in almost disbelief.  With few words needed,  we shared in our sorrow.  Unable to turn away from the lake we watched as several other ducks  swam out to the grieving mother, encircling her as though offering comfort in the only way they could. 

Later that evening as I looked out from my deck overlooking our small lake my thoughts were brought back to the memories of what had happened earlier that day. Sadly,  I watched as a mother duck took a leisurely swim with ONE  baby trailing behind her.  My heart sank again,  as I recalled the events that most likely was the cause of what I was now seeing.

I stood feeling almost connected to the sense of loss, I imagined what that mother duck had endured, and the acceptance that she was now forced to face.  An unforeseen enemy had unjustly stole from her. Tearing  her world apart right before her eyes.  Helplessly she was forced to watch as the life she had brought into the world, cared for and loved was cruelly ripped from her with out mercy.  Leaving her broken, her dreams shattered, alone and grieving.  Now facing the arduous journey of moving past loss and devastation, picking up the pieces of her shattered world and moving forward.  Accepting, adapting and surviving tragedy.

I thought momentarily of the wonderful enlightening conversation I had shared with my new friend earlier that day about our sons living with Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy.  How blessed I felt having connected with other mothers who understood so well the sorrow and joy this life brought us daily.  The unrelenting helplessness we battled with in ourselves as we are forced to watch our boys be viciously attacked by a monster that  has no mercy.  The acceptance we have grown accustom too as the disease slowly ravishes every muscle with in our beautiful boys.  The hurt and sorrow that consumes us at times threatening our very own existence as we are forced to accept the inevitable.

Standing there  watching the mother duck swimming with her duckling I have to say she reminded me slightly in some ways of a  Duchenne Mother.  The courage she had to find to take the last of her brood out to swim.  The strength she undoubtedly had to find with in her self to overcome her grief and the acceptance that this event  was beyond her power to prevent.  That by no fault of her own this had happened to her baby and that somehow this was part of plan that she had no control over.  I still felt very troubled by the fact that  in order to make this world work- suffering and pain is so very significant, to this big divine plan.  A plan her nor I can fully  comprehend but have  learnt to accept, with courage and dignity.   I embraced  remembering  the circle of friends that was formed around this mother duck almost instantaneously as she cried for her baby.  The comfort her friends seemed desperately to want to  offer her.

As my thoughts slowly shifted back to my world I tried to focus more on the connections we have to each other in this world.  Alone in my thoughts I wanted to some how savor the gifts we are all surrounded with.   Most desperately wanting to grasp on to the blessings I have been overjoyed with myself amongst my sadness-if possible.    Clinging to the idea of joy in sorrow, once again-finding that to be my foundation of coping.    I was still feeling so very connected to the mother duck because of the strength she represented.  I also felt comfort knowing, I am  truly blessed to have found a few special friends  that even in the midst of their own anguish or sorrow, can still find time to extend support and love when I  need it most.    

  

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