jogging

I quickly put on my running shoes, grabbed my favorite stocking hat and gave the mirror one last glance.  Would I ever feel satisfied I wondered as I stared at my reflection.   I  was trying something new, running.  Hoping this new attempt to do something for myself might help free my mind.  I was desperate to have something I did just for me, that would also be  good for me.  I wanted a conscious choice that would help me find a little satisfaction- just for me.

No I was not a seasoned runner. I was a rookie just discovering  the feeling of the pavement under my feet. I was a  soul desperately in search of something that could free me for minutes at a time from the journey that demanded daily, everything I had.

The air was a bit chilly as I breathed in.  My lungs filling with the cool air, and then slowly exhaling as I began to pace myself.  I concentrated on the impact my feet felt as they touched the ground.  I was in a jog, slow but steady.  My thoughts quickly changing to the obstacles in front of me and the goal markers I strived to reach before I slowed myself to a fast walk. Yes I  was the beginner, who jogged, walked and jogged some more. Each time pushing myself to make it farther and farther before I would slow my pace shortly,  for a slight break.

As I felt my self move I also felt my mind slowly letting go.  Freeing me from worry and concern from the constant care my job demands of me.  I was achieving what I  had set out to do and  It felt good. I passed by several other runners sharing in a friendly  nod.  I even received a high five as I  passed by another female jogger.  I was where I needed to be right now.  I was giving something to me that I had needed for a long time.  I was freeing me and allowing myself to exist without any perpous other than my own gratification.  Yes, I was feeling satisfied for the moment.