I quickly put on my running shoes, grabbed my favorite stocking hat and gave the mirror one last glance. Would I ever feel satisfied I wondered as I stared at my reflection. I was trying something new, running. Hoping this new attempt to do something for myself might help free my mind. I was desperate to have something I did just for me, that would also be good for me. I wanted a conscious choice that would help me find a little satisfaction- just for me.
No I was not a seasoned runner. I was a rookie just discovering the feeling of the pavement under my feet. I was a soul desperately in search of something that could free me for minutes at a time from the journey that demanded daily, everything I had.
The air was a bit chilly as I breathed in. My lungs filling with the cool air, and then slowly exhaling as I began to pace myself. I concentrated on the impact my feet felt as they touched the ground. I was in a jog, slow but steady. My thoughts quickly changing to the obstacles in front of me and the goal markers I strived to reach before I slowed myself to a fast walk. Yes I was the beginner, who jogged, walked and jogged some more. Each time pushing myself to make it farther and farther before I would slow my pace shortly, for a slight break.
As I felt my self move I also felt my mind slowly letting go. Freeing me from worry and concern from the constant care my job demands of me. I was achieving what I had set out to do and It felt good. I passed by several other runners sharing in a friendly nod. I even received a high five as I passed by another female jogger. I was where I needed to be right now. I was giving something to me that I had needed for a long time. I was freeing me and allowing myself to exist without any perpous other than my own gratification. Yes, I was feeling satisfied for the moment.