Chapter 5


Eve was the first to jump out of Josiah's squad car. Quickly the three men followed her lead.  There was an eery quiet about the dwelling. Almost as though the place had been abandoned.  There was  no activity outside the premises accept for one man, who had now dropped to his knees in the court yard.

The figure was now  bent  over something or possibly someone.  The four of them stood together watching as the man made no other motion keeping his back to them.  Josiah led the group towards the man calling out to him loudly "what happened, do you need help?".   As he  moved  closer  Josiah felt an uneasiness grow stronger inside him.  He slowly placed  his hand on the top of his pistol that rested in his hip holster.  Loudly he called out to him again.  "What happened. Are you hurt?" He moved closer motioning for the others to stay back. There was no answer or  even a gesture that the man had heard Josiah call to him.  Eve eyes darted from one end of the building to the other.  Nothing else seemed out of place.  There was no other movement or stirring of life.    Josiah  took another step closer with Cody, Eve and Doc Keller ignoring his gesturing  that they stay back and   followed right behind him.

 The man turned his head and began to rise. His shoulders hunched forward as he staggered to a standing position.  His feet  moved in a pigeon toed manner as if they were being dragged   along with every step he took..  On the face of the man he noticed  a large gash along his forehead.  His mouth hung open as he snarled loudly towards them with a blank expression.  Then from behind this male figure suddenly appeared another body. Smaller in size but also moving in the same manner. Hunched and dragging its feet.   "What the hell happened" Cody said softly.  More out of impulse than anything else. Not really intending anyone to respond in particular and knowing very well none of them had an answer,  but  unconsciously hoping somehow an explanation  might be offered from one of the other three at what they were seeing.

It was Doc Keller that finally spoke first.  "The man appears to be sick  or drugged and unable to respond to us". Watching him closely he spoke again. "Look at how he moves, its as if  he is dazed and randomly walking, almost lifelessly."  Josiah stepped forward again then stopped.  Fear enveloping him, for the first time in his career he was unsure of what to do next.  He pulled the gun from his harness.  Cody watched him.  Softly  he offered  a thought out loud " He acts like a rabid animal. Gnarling and unbalanced.  They watched as   his arms moved, swinging out awkwardly at the air every so often.  He appeared to be drenched with blood. From behind the figure it was Cody who noticed first, what he had been bent over.  It was another body on the ground.  Laying motionless on its side.  Bloody and disheveled. Eve also saw the lifeless body, just as the smaller figure now dropped to its knees to bend over the figure on the ground. A revolting queasy feeling filled her stomach as she realized what she was seeing.    Josiah and Cody exchanged looks.  Josiah yelled out again to the the figures to stop and continued his approach.

Josiah had dealt with men and women strung out on drugs before.  But this did not seem like they were aimlessly wondering while under the influence of some drug. It appeared they were eating the corpse on the ground. His mind found it difficult to accept. But there was just no other explanation for what he was seeing.  The figure continued to approach them.  He aimed his gun to wards the bloody man in front of him.  "Stop" he yelled once again.  The smaller figure behind him now rose too and awkwardly began to walk  towards them. Bloody and messed. The rabid man still  made no attempt to heed Josiahs request and wildly swung out.  Josiah cocked his pistol  and  demanded him to stop a third time.  Cody rushed the body and knocked him down. He swung wildly at Cody gnashing teeth and growling loudly. Cody backed up as the man attempted to stand. Josiah pulled the trigger as a shot fired out towards the bloody man. He fell to the ground again.

Josiah found Eve sitting upright in Dr Keller's office. The look on her teared streaked face made him  concerned for her. The few times he had spoken with  her she seemed so confident  and happy. Cody joined them in the exam room now too. The three men stood at opposite corners of the small  room, not quite sure what part they all were to play. Cody and Josiah gave  each other the amicable man  nod then turned to address the situation with the Doctor.

But it was Eve who spoke first. "We need to get to the center now" she began still trembling. "There has been a terrible accident involving  a few of the participants in the study." Cody moved to her side. He wanted nothing more than  to hold her and comfort her. She looked at him  as she spoke again. " I don't know exactly what provoked or caused the change. Somehow things got out of control in the night. We need to get there now. Can you take me?" Josiah looked at Doc Keller his brow furrowed. He was confused with just  how Cody Everett fit in.  They had become acquaintances shortly after Josiah's arrival to take over as Sheriff.   But his being there  hardly seemed of any importance at the moment.  "Eve are you sure you are up to  it?"  Cody asked looking from eve and then  over to where the Sheriff stood.  Josiah locked eyes with Cody as he spoke. " I can take us all there in the squad car right now."  Eve stood up. She needed to get there and fast.  She needed to help get the situation under control as soon as possible. She also some how knew, she  needed the help of both these men. " I am fine". She said trying to convince herself as well as the others. 

"Are there injuries?" Doc Keller asked. Eve paused and then started for the door and then stopped again,  turning as she spoke. "Yes.  I... she stuttered momentarily.  " I-um remember seeing someone bleeding on the floor." Images flashed in front of Eve. She had heard running then screaming. She remembered being scared backing away from something or someone and then running away. Running until she fell down an embankment of some sort a slope and then nothing. She woke up bloody and injured and some how found her way to Cody's ranch. She shook her head nodding as she answered him.  "Yes yes, I remember someone  had been hurt." Her heart raced as she recalled the scene in her mind. The  night nurse I saw her lying on the floor.  The image flashed in front of her.   She had tried to help her and then something came after Eve.  She was not sure who or why. "We have to hurry". she cried.  

It was the ringing of Sheriff Cody's phone that startled them all. His face grew pale as he listened to the voice.  He turned towards the other 2 men. The dispatcher was short with her report.  He told them Someone from the center,  a man had called in  for help. He had said there was blood and bodies. They all moved towards the door. Josiah instructed his office to call for back up and an ambulance.  He also told her be on . stand by should they need to call for more medical emergency help.  He then  led the way to the his squad car. Doc Keller following in the rear  announced with determination "I am coming with."

It was 20 minutes be fore they pulled up in front of the concrete building.  The place seemed deserted at first.  Then from a side service entrance they saw a man staggering towards them.  His shirt and pants  caked with blood.  

chapter 3 the scrape

The smell was like nothing he had ever smelt before. He remembered back to his early college years. One summer while on a hiking trip, he joined volunteer forces to help dig out some lost souls that had fallen victim to a mud slide along the edges of Yellowstone National park in Wyoming.  It was right then when he decided he wanted to help save lives and that fall he switched his major to the medical field. It was also then that he first learned the poignant smell of rotting flesh.  He discovered first hand how it  could make even the strongest stomachs churn, and that was exactly what the smell reminded him of  now. He felt  nausea from inside rising upwards fast. Quickly he covered his mouth with his hand as he  looked around the open cell door. Swallowing hard he fought to keep the contents of his stomach intact. His heart racing as he took in the horrific sight. He felt motionless as he stood in dismay.  Blood splattered a small portion of the walls. His eyes traveled down to the the floor  to  pool of blood.  Next to that laid something that resembled some kind of carcass.  No, wait.  He focussed his unbeleiving eyes, it was a body, a human body.  He stepped closer, inside he trembled with gut wrenching terror.  His mind  fighting to accept the site before him  was in fact real. He wanted  desperately to have this all be a terrible dream, a nightmare that he would somehow be awaken from any moment. What he was seeing made  made no sense to him.  Someones body, lifeless, mangled,  with its abdomen ripped open laid sprawled on the hard cement floor. He looked around the tiny quarters, there seemed to be  no one else in sight.

He was not sure if he had actually heard the movement behind him or just sensed motion.  But then that smell like, he had never known before intensified. He turned in slow motion, gagging as he felt himself smothered in the putrid odor.  A gurgling sound filled his ears as a figure moved towards him. Teeth gnashing as the bloody disfigured body lunged at him.  In fear he backed away quickly.  Awkward clumsy  hands reached out  to claw and grab at him.  Zach kicked a  metal cart towards his intruder. He watched as this monster tripped, falling hard to the concrete floor, its gnarling growl growing as he struggled to grab at him again. Its limbs wildly thrashed around in an attempt to stand again.

He studied the figure momentarily.  He realized this was a young man and not a monsterous beast that was for some reason trying to violently attack him.   He wore a jumpsuit like the kind they had distributed to participants of the study. Only his was torn and caked with blood.  He resembled a young participant of the study Zach had met several days prior.  The young mans color was ashen and pale. His eyes were glazed and almost a glowing amber color. His face twisted without expression, drool and blood spilling from the sides of his deep purple almost black like  lips.

Zach turned his head looking  for an object, something  to hurdle at the hideous figure. Slowly it began to rise.   He placed his hand on a wooden chair lifting it quickly, he swung it at his attacker.  Knocking him down again. Zach watched as a gaping wound opened up on the side of this creatures  head. He stared at the wound for a moment.  There was no blood, just a mass of a deep brown matted tissue slightly exposed.   It tried again to rise slowly.  Zach swung again wildly, knocking  him -this thing, down once more, Then as if something inside Zach snapped he moved closer  to the mad man.  He lifted the chair and swung  again striking it in the head. He heard the skull  crack and the body fall once more.  Again he struck it in the head with the leg of the chair.  The head split and the thing stopped moving. Its teeth gnashed one last time and then nothing.  Zach stood motionless for a few moments. Looking at the human form now laying at his feet.  He trembled in his sweat soaked clothes.  Not sure what to do he turned to look back the other body, which now appeared to him to be a female.  She-what was left of her laid  near the small pool of blood, unmoved. He knelt down at her side to move the hair that covered his face.  He gasped as he realized it was Linda the night nurse.

The scrape
 chapter 2

Sheriff  Josiah  Barry hung up the phone. Cussing under his breath.  His side of Aitkin  county had always been quiet. But it seemed in the last six months  he had several calls of   disturbances, that left him with a feeling of unease and puzzlement.  He took another sip of the bitter coffee he had sitting on his desk.  Looking down at his mug he stared at the black sludge he had  been drinking  all morning.  He hated the stuff , yet, found himself  starting his mornings with his cup poured to the rim.   He rubbed his brow with his large strong hand. Feeling a dull ache starting at his temples.  Ever since Eve and her people showed, up along with the Center for disease Control there had been just a few to many unexplained calls of disturbances, he thought to himself.  His town folks, as well as the neighboring towns People were beginning to question what was happening, down at the old Hill City Youth Correctional Center .  He had so far, been successful at keeping them satisfied with his vague answers.  But, he too was beginning to need more answers to the evolving questions. Eve was the name of the contact he was given if he needed to speak to  someone on the inside.  He sensed from   Eves call  this might be more trouble than just a minor squabble with a complaint from a neighboring farmer.
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The doors  to the old Correctional Center  in Hill City had been abandoned for over 30 years. Closed and boarded up it stood as a  lifeless landmark.  A new Facility  had been built  over in Blue Earth county  about  50 miles south.  For the 10 years he was in service at the Hill City Sheriffs department the abandoned building  had not been a concern to anyone.  Not so much as  a broken window  had been reported.  Even the Malone family had left the facility alone.  That is until the last 6 months.

  He had been told  the state health department Center for Disease and Control had temporarily chosen the site to conduct a new drug study.  He supported science and the medical profession.  He understood the urgent need for the research necessary to help find cures for diseases.  Since the premature death of his late wife from a rare form of cancer, he  had developed a deep respect for the volunteers who enrolled in  studies, at their own free will, to test new drugs.   But he also had a commitment  and concern for the community at large, if something were to go wrong.

This was a quiet remote place- a controlled place, to house the  volunteers,  while they were enrolled in  drug trials.  The approval had came all the way from the Governor's office.  That was all he was told and that was all anyone he knew  had been told. But what troubled Josiah was that the site was a correctional facility not a hospital.  It had bars and concrete floors.  Not comfortable beds and sterilized rooms.  It was a cold dwelling not a hospitable dwelling and certainly not a state of the art health center. Perhaps it had been redecorated inside  he thought for a moment.  After all drug companies made millions.  He stood up  stretched his long muscular  legs and grabbed his jacket as he  headed towards the door,  but, first stopping to let the front desk clerk know he was going on a call.   He walked to his squad car, half  mumbling to  himself, "he was  here to serve and protect his people, keep his eyes and ears open and his mouth shut until he had the facts". "All the facts".   Eve was his contact if there was any trouble or complaints from the citizens of that area.   It did not occur to him though until now he might be called out because she was in trouble.

 Josiah  was generally a quiet man who kept to himself.  After his wife passed away 3 years ago he just sort of  buried himself in his  work.  Between his career and working out at the gym he seemed to not have time for much else.  Yes, there had been a few young women from town who could not resist his deep  chocolate brown bedroom eyes  and approached Josiah with flirtatious attempts to attract his attention, but he just was not ready yet to start dating again and was not sure he would be  for quite sometime.   His late wife Victoria was the love of his life.  They met on the swim team  in High school. With his long arms and legs he took the team to victory several times during meets.  She was a small petite beauty with long brown hair who moved swift and fast in the water, her speed made her a valuable member of the team.   But now Josiah nearing his 30th Birthday  at six two and weighing a strong  200 pounds,  looked more like a fitness trainer than a member of the Aitkin county Hill City's Sheriffs department.

  He just knew deep down in side sooner or later the mysterious occurrences at the correctional center were  bound to mean trouble. He sensed this was not going to be good. He only hoped whatever happened was contained to the dwelling


Eve laid her head back down.  Her memory was starting to coming back and her head felt dizzy. Colorful pictures flashed through her mind.  "Oh My God" she cried " as she recalled why she had fled.  

jogging

I quickly put on my running shoes, grabbed my favorite stocking hat and gave the mirror one last glance.  Would I ever feel satisfied I wondered as I stared at my reflection.   I  was trying something new, running.  Hoping this new attempt to do something for myself might help free my mind.  I was desperate to have something I did just for me, that would also be  good for me.  I wanted a conscious choice that would help me find a little satisfaction- just for me.

No I was not a seasoned runner. I was a rookie just discovering  the feeling of the pavement under my feet. I was a  soul desperately in search of something that could free me for minutes at a time from the journey that demanded daily, everything I had.

The air was a bit chilly as I breathed in.  My lungs filling with the cool air, and then slowly exhaling as I began to pace myself.  I concentrated on the impact my feet felt as they touched the ground.  I was in a jog, slow but steady.  My thoughts quickly changing to the obstacles in front of me and the goal markers I strived to reach before I slowed myself to a fast walk. Yes I  was the beginner, who jogged, walked and jogged some more. Each time pushing myself to make it farther and farther before I would slow my pace shortly,  for a slight break.

As I felt my self move I also felt my mind slowly letting go.  Freeing me from worry and concern from the constant care my job demands of me.  I was achieving what I  had set out to do and  It felt good. I passed by several other runners sharing in a friendly  nod.  I even received a high five as I  passed by another female jogger.  I was where I needed to be right now.  I was giving something to me that I had needed for a long time.  I was freeing me and allowing myself to exist without any perpous other than my own gratification.  Yes, I was feeling satisfied for the moment.

Belly dancing

Few know this about me,  but eleven  years ago I took belly dancing lessons. It was something I chose to do for me.  I enjoyed the class so much that I looked forward to it each week, and practiced secretly behind my closed bedroom doors. I actually wasn't too bad at it. Each movement brought me my own satisfaction. I worked hard, rolling  my shoulders, swaying my hips. In a room with 20 other women ranging in age from 20 to 60 years, I danced. As diverse as our age  was, so was our size.  I really had nothing to be insecure about,  my features were not altered with any marks that might some how make me stand out differently, and  my weight was at 105 pounds. I was simply put- fairly attractive and a perfect size 2.  I stood in line during class commanding my body to move to the rhythmic music. Demanding  my body  to follow the music, with motions that made me feel sexy and even a bit beautiful.

The day finally came when it was time to start preparing for our recital. I was frightened. The thought that a crowd of people would look at me and judge me filled me with anxiety. The thought that my fellow comm rads would all have  significant others in the audience,  applauding for them left me feeling awkward and lonely.   I felt vulnerable and could not imagine anything more frightening than being exposed openly to scrutiny and ridicule.  This was all at a very difficult time for me.  A time when I was going through my divorce and  reentering  the dating world. As  I was struggling to gain a new confidence, I was also working through old wounds.

I caved into the demons that haunted me that weekend. I let fear over whelm me and  did not perform in the  recital.  In fact I was so ridden with self doubt and anxiety, I  used my children as  an excuse to not be available the weekend of our performance. In truth it was  my child weekend off.  I know most people who know me today, cannot even imagine this very insecure, awkward and shy side of me. A side of me that only my sons and two sisters really have witnessed.

So this was  also a  time in my life when  my new availability sparked some interest with several men in the dating world. Unknowingly giving me more demons to contend with.  So with nothing else to do in my life, on my weekends when my sons visited their father, I  accepted  some  invitations out.  Always being very  cautious to not set my hopes up to high.  I remember one particular time when I was  out on a blind date.  The gentleman I was having dinner with asked me what I did for a living.  I watched the color slowly drain  from his face as I  spoke about my job, caring for my two younger sons. He quickly changed the subject to comment on the  vikings and said little through the rest of dinner. He walked me to my car without a word, other than  goodbye and good luck. It was shortly after that through a chain of gossip I learned exactly the kind of battle  that laid ahead for me.

I  was a single mother with two terminally ill children.  A mother who spent her days and nights caring  for the special needs of  her sons,  alone.   A  mother fighting for her children's acceptance and her own,  in a selfish world.  A world who  marketed strength and beauty as though they are the catalyst to success.   But I was also a mother who would find the  strength to go  against the odds to start a new life for her and her sons alone.

 I don't regret not performing in the recital.  In fact I embrace that I accepted - fear and insecurity, as part of who I am.  Eleven years ago I was in a very difficult place.  A place that brought me to such a low that I did not even believe in myself.  I let what I  heard from a handful of people fill me with self doubt.  I let hurtful words that had nothing to do with Belly dancing and everything to do with my sons leave me feeling as an outcast and unwanted.  I  knew better, but the insults that found their way back to me outweighed my inner strength.  I was stripped of hope and no match for the despair that threatened my world.


That was eleven long years ago and so much has changed.  Yes, Duchenne the  terminal disease that my two younger sons have, has progressed.  Their daily care is much more demanding. As my sons face more challenges  with their weakening muscles -Life has not become easier.  I am still their single mother, facing new fears as I watch them loose in their battle with Duchenne.
But I am not that same woman who once  lacked confidence in herself , and took to heart the negative thoughts of others.  I am not that same woman who lacked inner strength and struggled with finding hope.  I have found the strength I need to face each day and the hope I need to face the challenges ahead of us,    But more importantly I  have found my confidence in me- no matter what anyone else thinks.     Today I would not hesitate to perform in that recital. Because I know I am the best me I  can be and really no one ever expects anyone to ever be more.

Labor of Love

There was no real reason for the single tear that rolled silently down my cheek.  It escaped as though it had a mission of great purpose. I bit down on my lower lip in an effort to stop the sob I felt building somewhere deep, deep, within me. Damn. What was this I cursed softly to my self, swallowing hard to keep whatever it was that was overcoming me contained. Ardently fighting sadness ,  to not alarm  Josiah, who played on his iPad only feet from where I stood at the kitchen sink. I sat the  dish I had been rinsing gently down on my drying rack.  I looked out my wall of windows that overlooked  our lake. My eyes followed  a trail of white Lilly pads to the  small island now over grown with nature. I did not have any  new crisis  or old for that matter -invading my world. In fact I had no drama  in my life, to even share, with anyone. I wiped at my moist cheek and looked over to where Josiah sat in his power chair.  His smile was so joyful. I studied his weakened posture as he busily tapped away at his screen. As if on cue another tear, crept slowly, out of the corner of my eye.

It was silly of me to even try to ignore the emotions that were rapidly advancing. I was simply no match to  the flood gates that  once again were opening the entry into my memories, lost dreams and  hopes. It was after all Labor Day weekend once more. I did not need a telethon on television to cling to. There would not be one this year helping  me ride out my waves of explosive fear and anguish. There really was nothing new for me to face. The reality was relentless, Duchenne the monster in my world, has been present since my earliest memory  and most  likely will be apart of my last thoughts. We are so connected I can only try to imagine life without its devastating effects and can only hope to know one  day a world with out  its existence.