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Monday, March 31, 2014


I listened in silence to the lyrics. Each note sung held me captive.  I was still so easily reminded of what no longer was, and, perhaps never was.   I was left a prisoner to my undying dreams and hope.  Unable to move, I  surrendered to the sweet melody, as waves of emotion consumed me. Almost overwhelmed with desire and conflicted with the harshness of reality,  I let my mind and heart replay the heartache I walked away from.   Lost in my bittersweet memories, images slowly flashed before me.  Images of a time not to long ago that once gave me hope.  Moments of time spent in another world.  Leaving me now wondering why  I was still brought so easily back to yesterday. 

I wanted to change what I now felt had wronged me.  I wanted to forget the pain I was in many ways  growing accustom to.  Mostly, I wanted to move on.  Move past the hurt and the sorrow that  these feelings I once felt,  had brought into my world.  I did not want the past back but, I wanted the hopes and dreams I had dared to believe in  to lead me, again, fearlessly on a new journey.  

I listened to the only song that could remind me of so much.  The only words that helped me understand why  I walked away, from my past.   In my mind I knew what I did was right.-  Right for me.  But still, something inside left me  hurting.  Left me feeling betrayed by my own emotions.   There was nothing left for me to say or do.  I needed to be true to myself, but the reality of it all meant, I had walked  this journey alone.  From the beginning, my desire  was all I ever had.  Now, here I was listening to the lyrics of a song that summed up everything I had ever meant to say and the emptiness I  heard back. " Say something I'm giving up on you."   

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