Friday, September 5, 2014

music for the heart

I was  sitting quietly with  my pink net- book, attempting to do some writing.  I had a special topic  I needed to address and I was  finding  myself to be a bit on edge, struggling to find  the exact words to convey my thoughts.  Across the room my son Josiah sat from me, busy  at his computer playing "Mind Craft".  As if on cue I heard him start to sing a Beatles tune.  Ever so sweetly he sang "When I  find myself in times of trouble Mother Mary come to me....whisper  words of wisdom....let it be ..... and in my hour of darkness she comforts me....Let it be ....let it be....... there will be an answer."    I stopped and listened half mesmerized by the  lyrics he recited.  Then slowly he turned his head slightly towards  me for a moment, as he continued singing on his own against the music. " There will be an answer mom.  In our need, wisdom will come to us and the light will shine."

I looked at him in a  state of awe as he sang - where had this come from I wondered to myself.....If that was not enough for me to think about he played yet another tune for me right after.  I sat thinking about those words too and how they were touching me in  the moment.   He continued to sing along to  the  ballad as he effortlessly went back to his 'mind craft game".    "You are the closest to heaven that I will ever be....I don't want the world to see me cuz I don't think they understand....I just want you to know who I am."
   
I smiled the smile that those of  us who are  parents know so well.  A smile that needs no words,  from a shared moment with  a beloved  child we hold so closely in our hearts.  My eyes moistened briefly.    The power he filled me with almost overwhelmed me for a moment.       What amazed me so much was his choice of songs that  he had chosen to sing, while  I  was at a loss for written words.  I did not even know Josiah  had an interest in the Beatles or the Googoo Dolls.  I was even more surprised that he was even aware that I was having a moment of trouble, as I silently sat in  my corner of the room.  Yet somehow I was hearing words from him as he sang along with Youtube in between playing his "Mind craft game."  Words that helped me break away from the tension that had absorbed me.  Tension that had a strong grasp at my thoughts and left me feeling numb and unable to focus.

As if he just knew -he helped to pull me  away to a place where I  needed to be, a place that  reminded  me of the things I did feel inside.  I was reminded that yes,  all that I needed at that moment was with me right now.  Let it be,  it really is  that simple. 

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