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Saturday, February 22, 2014

love and the social network

The screen flashed at me.  Alerting me I had some new emails.  I scrolled through the  photos of the newest group of men interested in possibly meeting me.  My popularity seemed to be increasing and my choices of pursuers told me my efforts were drawing a rather diverse group of possibilities.  I paused momentarily at one caption.  Simply stating "Fly with me" instead of hello.  I was most definitely intrigued.  I read my new email, and then read it again.  Shook my head as I smiled to myself.  Each day seemed to be introducing me to new and more exciting  invitations.  My four weeks since joining the social network world so far, had been if nothing else, enjoyable.    No doubt,  it was expanding my world and my view of what the market held.   The few dates I had been on, had been pleasant, but lacking so far in what I  found to keep my interest.  Nothing had screamed at me -loud enough, to pursue a second date.  But I was finding some interest in a few new faces of men who had recently began conversing with me over the phone.  It dazzled me while I read my emails, at the opening lines some men used.  Creativity was not lacking on this site. I had even had several marriage proposals.   I decided I would come back to this latest email.  Giving  it some thought,  before answering, after all what does a girl say to an invitation to fly with a stranger. 

 I went through the list, reading my  remaining emails, only to find  myself a bit  distracted, by  yet another beautifully written note.  A note  telling me how much a certain man  looked forward to meeting me and that just receiving a text from me brightened his day.  He, I found to be well grounded, a bit of eye candy and carefully flirtatious.  Also he  was not hesitating to show me his romantic side by calling me and playing my favorite song over the phone.  Qualities that had moved him up the list right there.  The world of dating most definitely for me was not lacking in compliments and attention.  I was pleased with the amount of text and emails I was receiving in such a short time.  Attention, sadly  I  had been missing for quite some time from my previous relationship.  It surprised me as I thought of my past, with just how much we are willing to put up with, in a relationship, that we believe offers us the one thing we desire most-love.

 Re-entering the dating world again,  I found now  to be actually a bit exciting.  Meeting new people can be very alluring and fascinating, especially when they share their enthusiasm towards you.  I also find it very interesting learning why some of us become so locked into into acting and looking a certain way.  A bit  perplexed why  many adults resist change like a plague, and have no interest in personal improvement, yet strive to capture something so very far  out of their reach.   Also perplexed why some of us just accept good enough is good enough  and some of us want desire so much more.  It amazes me how often the way we perceive ourselves is not always the way the world sees us back.

My thoughts were interrupted once again, with a second email from my friend who likes to fly.   I was immediately brought back to the present.   Hmm....   Was an airplane ride to much for a first date?   I wondered?  How serious, could this invitation be?  This man  had however, with out doubt, did his homework, before contacting me.  His pictures appeared to be current dated in a sequential order.  His face was clear and visible.  He captured a full body shot of himself showing me he had intentions of letting me see as much of him as possible.  The eight photos he had uploaded for me, told me he had many interest and several big boy toys.  One in particular was a small plane with floats.  I was impressed, he had taken the time to give me a profile of himself and then taken the time to actually read mine, by commenting on it.  Below his picture I read more. He worked for the Delta Airlines. He found my  smile captivating  him as well as what I wrote.   He said he was searching for love.  Like most of us hopeless romantics  in the dating world.  Hoping to find someone that made the mornings  a little brighter the nights a little warmer, the days a little happier.   Another  romantic?? possibly.  Another soul searching for love- most definitely.

Four weeks ago  when I first set off on my new adventure of dating  I was a bit apprehensive. Afraid I would be flooded with a world of men in need of  makeovers "immediately", or at the very  least men in need of some pointers on how to impress and approach the dating world with results.  While that  thought represented a large group of men it fleetingly left me for several hours while on my  first date.  He was put together  fine. Tall, very well groomed and very kind, but  I simply felt no buzz to continue on to a second date even though his invitation of a night on the town was tempting.  Apparently I also learnt that was a fact that  would  be important for me to make  clear, as soon as I realized it on my dates to come.  My second interested  caller,  along with a bouquet of flowers attempted a  much more scientific approach to win my interest.  He felt confident enough to evaluate the time we spent together by telling me he noticed my pupils dilate several times while we conversed over cocktails.  Even though my words the next time he asked me out were saying no he believed my eyes had told him I  had an interest. I must say I found this to be an almost fascinating, yet an  inappropriate  bold approach.  He was not successful in persuading me, after all I had dated enough in the past to know if and when I felt something.  I may not always know exactly what I want but I do know what I am not interested in. Being told how I feel is not one them.    As  Kind and sweet as some of my male encounters have been  it just is not my job to help lonely hearts not be lonely or give them false hope.   I  barely have enough time to take care of my own heart and answer the emails I find most tantalizing.     Having someone find me interesting  and me not reciprocating the feeling  is an issue it seems I may need to  remember to address firmly. 

So  I am delighted that I have a few female friends reentering the dating world with me this time. Our taste in men differs enough to not create conflict and yet share in  the excitement of possibilities of what our searches turn up. Which has made dating even more enjoyable for me.

Dating in a time that can connect you to someone across the world instantly, almost, has no limits, if you are willing to go that far.   But the chemistry and attraction felt between two people still works the same. The social network really can connect you to the world beyond your backyard but it can not make your heart fall without your consent.  Inside you know when you have an actual  heart interest.  A possibility that could flourish in love.   I myself  may have to work on my pupils a bit, to keep from giving out the wrong message.  However I applaud my fellow romantics.  Those of us brave souls  willing to  at least take that extra step to search for love again by creating  a profile  that says I am desirable and open up to the world of dating.  Because after all finding love is really worth the effort.      

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